Welcome To Jim's Goods Homepage

My name is Jim Davis and I live in New Zealand. I arrived here a long time ago from England and although New Zealand is now my home and a great place to live I might add, I still miss the 'old' country as well as proper fish n' chips. And at the risk of turning my wife's face green, (not with envy either), steak pudding and mushy peas as well.

What about all those war movies that you see one lot charging the other (running at the enemy with weapons I mean - not asking them for money). Don't you always notice that the first line nearly always get cut down in a hail of bullets? That's even if they eventually win the battle too. So if I found myself up front (not!), as soon as the charge started I would bend down and pretend to be tying my shoelaces until enough of them ended up ahead of me to make it safe to carry on. Mind you, there would still have to be enough behind you to make it work, otherwise there might be a possibility of taking a bullet up the rear instead. And that's the last place I'd want it thanks.

Below you will see a photo of me meeting Billy Connolly on the streets of Rotorua. I don't know why I decided not to tuck my t-shirt inside my pants that day. If you hadn't been able to see the pavement just below the end of my t-shirt you would probably think I've got a pot. No way, I've got a pretty good body even if I do say so myself. Did I ever mention that I'm modest as well? Anyway, Billy is a lovely bloke and has a strong handshake I can tell you. I'm the one on the right (I know, you knew that).

 If you are interested there is more about me below. And don't forget to leave a message and your link in the guest book. Thanks.

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Here is a link to my other website where you can instantly download MP3's and Movies

For the rest just click on Jim's Goods in the left column.

When I was a kid (9 years old) I came across a grass fire that was out of control and sweeping up this hill threatening to engulf a row of garages, so immediately I ran to the nearest phone-box which was about a half a mile away.

There wasn't any mobile-phones in the 1950's so I didn't have any choice and even if there had been I wouldn't have been able to afford one anyway. So I rang the fire-brigade and started to make my way back imagining myself on the front page of the newspaper shaking hands with the fire-chief, maybe even getting a commendation of some sort. When I got back though the fire had gone out. Talk about a let-down, I was floored. Thoughts of commendations, photos in the paper and best of all, being recognised on the street suddenly sprouted wings and flew off. Sod that, I thought and proceeded to relight it myself.

Soon the fire was going even better than when I had discovered it. To tell you the truth I got a bit worried as it crept closer to the garages and there still wasn't a flashing light in sight. The newspaper headlines in my head suddenly changed to 'YOUNG ARSONIST JAILED' and all of a sudden I wasn't so keen on hanging around any more. I was just about to make a run for it when a small red van pulled up and four firemen jumped out holding rubber swatters. After all that and they hadn't even bothered sending a fire-engine. The whole day was turning out to be a big disappointment.

They had the fire out within five minutes and then one of them walked up to me and started asking me questions. The whole time he looked me up and down with a suspicious look on his face too. "You cheeky b*****d! I bet you think I started it!' was the first thing to go through my head. Well I might have helped it to continue but I didn't start it did I!? At the time I made a mental note that next time they could fight their own fires.

That was just one of many incidents in my youth. There's a lot more, like the time I set off a sky-rocket in my Gran's kitchen and shot my mate in the foot with a slug-gun to name a few. I was probably lucky to survive those early years or not to have been locked up but I did. Did the others that's the question? If you are interested in reading more go the 'Boy's Tale' page. And don't forget to if you like them keep coming back because I will be adding more.

You can also read my short stories in 'Twisted Tales' which by the way I wrote myself. I will be adding more to them as well, as time goes on.

Of course you don't have to look at any of the offers if you don't want to but I do have to survive. If I die of starvation there won't be any more stories - just the very tragic ending which nobody will be able to read because I won't be here to write it. I've never really fancied myself as a ghost-writer.